haha wow i need a second post to
get everything outta my head.
-----------------------------------
you just left.
when ill see you again?
i dont know
youre not coming back.
and i already miss you
well i miss the idea of you that i have
because i know you dont live up to that
not in the least
you dont deserve me
but i still pursued you.
not anymore.
the distance will make it easier to forget.
but i do miss you.
why can't you be what i wanted?
but whatever.
like i said, you dont deserve me.
there's only one person i can think of that deserves me
and youre not him.
i think you were my substitute.
because the one who deserves me, the one who i may not deserve,
well i hurt him. i hurt him bad.
and i dont think he can forgive me
but, oh jeezz i want him to.
i gave my everything to him,
how the heck did i throw that away?!?
and for what?
a couple fun nights away at college?
so not a fair trade.
will he ever forgive me?
well i think hes getting there, :)
we talked last night.
best part of my night
i still love him
wow, crazy internal struggle there ^^^^ huh??
yea anyways, im feeling better.
i need to write more.
T minus 6 hours.
21 March 2009
2 quarters down...
and so much has happened.
its been awhile since ive had the time
or drive to write about whats going on in my crazy head.
ive realized that i miss you the most
i miss what we were.
i want that back
but i dont think you want the same thing
or ever will
i think i hurt you too much.
but i want you to know,
i kick myself everyday for that mistake
im sorry.
BIRTHDAY
was amazing.
one of the best birthdays ive ever had.
11:58 pm, March 13th- Heidi calls, two minutes early girlie
she blamed it on Disneyland :)
but its okay i love her anyways
she was the first call from home.
<3
thank you to amy, isabel and chelsi
the door decorations, the cake, the ice cream.
i was bursting with love. <3
then calls from EVERYONE
cute pics of mac from Suzie. him saying happy birthday in dog :)
the diaz's calling me. i almost cried.
the only thing that stopped me,
i didnt want to cry in front of them
cause i knew if i started, i wouldnt stop.
jeezzzz i love that family.
"you sound like youre right around the corner"
i wish i was Mr Diaz, i really do.
birthday songs from my 2 As :)
i recorded them
then Birthday Dinner
I love Sushi- best restaurant.
drunkies there were funnyyyy
then we sang karaoke,
got booed, of course because we were not drunkies
so we werent dancing crazy across the stage.
haha
a group of 15, wow.
14 other people love me enough to go to a dinner
celebrating me.
thank you everyone.
finalssssss
two words
epic fail.
well just the film final
a 3 hour final?!?!?!
holy cow.
econ was good, i love that class :)
is that weird?
and now these are my last couple hours before i leave to back to
Walnut World
for spring break.
i cant wait.
SBF
my bed.
home cooking
beach
Disneyland
love
<3
its been awhile since ive had the time
or drive to write about whats going on in my crazy head.
ive realized that i miss you the most
i miss what we were.
i want that back
but i dont think you want the same thing
or ever will
i think i hurt you too much.
but i want you to know,
i kick myself everyday for that mistake
im sorry.
BIRTHDAY
was amazing.
one of the best birthdays ive ever had.
11:58 pm, March 13th- Heidi calls, two minutes early girlie
she blamed it on Disneyland :)
but its okay i love her anyways
she was the first call from home.
<3
thank you to amy, isabel and chelsi
the door decorations, the cake, the ice cream.
i was bursting with love. <3
then calls from EVERYONE
cute pics of mac from Suzie. him saying happy birthday in dog :)
the diaz's calling me. i almost cried.
the only thing that stopped me,
i didnt want to cry in front of them
cause i knew if i started, i wouldnt stop.
jeezzzz i love that family.
"you sound like youre right around the corner"
i wish i was Mr Diaz, i really do.
birthday songs from my 2 As :)
i recorded them
then Birthday Dinner
I love Sushi- best restaurant.
drunkies there were funnyyyy
then we sang karaoke,
got booed, of course because we were not drunkies
so we werent dancing crazy across the stage.
haha
a group of 15, wow.
14 other people love me enough to go to a dinner
celebrating me.
thank you everyone.
finalssssss
two words
epic fail.
well just the film final
a 3 hour final?!?!?!
holy cow.
econ was good, i love that class :)
is that weird?
and now these are my last couple hours before i leave to back to
Walnut World
for spring break.
i cant wait.
SBF
my bed.
home cooking
beach
Disneyland
love
<3