a reason for living

i will be strong
i will be faithful
cause im counting on a new beginning
a reason for living
a deeper meaning

i want to stand with you on a mountain.....

a little less than two weeks.
finally
i can't wait to see the little faces.

they'll help me get to my mountain
i do it for them
and by it i mean everything.
well i try to.
im having a little difficulty as of late.
but hopefully ill be on track soon.

ive made some big mistakes and
recently ive realized that they were mistakes
so i tried to fix them
hopefully my effort was enough.


but still i have one big mistake
for which i have no remedy.
my head tells me one thing
and something ( i dont think my heart but it coud be)
tells me something different.

and actually not only my head,
but EVERYONE else tells me the same thing:
to STOP

but i can't.
when noone else is involved
everything is different.
but as soon as its not just us.
things change
and i KNOW thats bad
but for some reason
i cant pull myself away.
i just need time away.

and i will get it in less that two weeks
when the family comes up!

and christopher!!

ahh im soo excited.
can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!